A huge problem in the Muslim community.

Marriage is half of faith, but unfortunately for many of us the wedding day itself starts with sin. This is a huge problem within the Muslim community.

We say it is supposed to be the best day of our lives

This is nothing but an illusion, deception and lie

Why would we want our wedding to be the best day of our lives?

What about all the days to come?

What about the day when we meet the Owner of the skies?

Wedding days are full of sin

Music, extravagance and free mixing

The bride is paraded for men and women to see

When in reality her beauty is only for her husband to see

Receiving loans,having disputes, taking on stress,

All of the above so our wedding will be the very "best"

Why not follow the way of our beloved Nabi (peace be upon him)?

He was sent to mankind for guidance and mercy,

The best Nikah is that of simplicity.

Below is an article written by Mawlana Saleem Dhorat which informs us about the wedding of the Queen of Jannah. May Allah SWT fill our weddings with simplicity and guide us to follow the best of mankind.

Wedding of Fatimah radhiyallahu anha

By Hadhrat Mawlana Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullah

Fatimah radhiyallahu anha is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The queen of the ladies in Jannah is Fatimah.' He also said, 'Fatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'

When Fatimah radhiyallahu anha reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam remained irresponsive.

Ali radhiyallahu anhu, who was 21 at the time, says:

“It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing?' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Fatimah radhiyallahu anha. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was extremely pleased and asked, ‘Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in mahr (dowry)?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'

The Prophet sallallāhu 'alayhi wasallam said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.”'

So, Ali radhiyallahu anhu went and sold his armour to Uthman radhiyallahu anhu for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Bilal radhiyallahu anhu was ordered by the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas radhiyallahu anhu was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthman, Talhah and Zubayr with some companions from the Ansar radhiyallāhu anhum.

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam recited the khutbah (sermon) of nikah and gave Fatimah radhiyallahu anha in marriage to Ali radhiyallahu anhu. He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Fatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 mithqal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made dua (prayer) saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' After the nikah, dates were distributed.

When the time came for Fatimah radhiyallahu 'anha to go to Ali’s (radhiyallahu anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry, accompanied by Umm Ayman radhiyallahu anha. After the Isha Salah, the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both 'Ali and Fatimah radhiyallahu anhuma and made dua for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of both the worlds was solemnized. In following this sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfil.

1.     The many customs as regards to engagement are contrary to sunnah. In fact, many are against the Sharī'ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer are sufficient.

2.     To unnecessarily delay nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3.     There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4.     It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5.     If the father of the girl is an alim or pious and capable of performing nikah, then he should himself solemnize the marriage.

6.     It is better to give the Mahr Fatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7.     It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8.     It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam?

9.     The present-day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10.  There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Islam.

11.  Great care must be taken as regards to salah on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12.  It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13.  The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14.  For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of hijab.

15.  It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16.  Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of nikah:

i.         Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such presents);

ii.         To give necessary items;

iii.         A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17.  It is Sunnah for the bridegroom's family to make walimah.

NOTE: In walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18.  To delay nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.

Some Customs

In following modern-day trends, we have adopted many customs that are un-Islamic and contrary to the sunnah.

Some examples are:

1.     Displaying the bride on stage;

2.     Inviting guests for the wedding from far-off places;

3.     Receiving guests in the hall;

4.     The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;

5.     It is contrary to sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Rasul sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam did not give Ali radhiyallahu anhu anything except dua.